Filed under: stuff
I was a percentage point about month ago for the unemployment rate. It was frustrating, humiliating, and stressful. For those of you who think about trying to survive on unemployment wages – you cant.
Being unemployed is humiliating on a couple levels. First and obvious is being jobless and struggling to provide for the basic needs of your family. As a result, you become dependent upon family and friends to help you. In our case, many did so. My friend Will employed me to cut wood, do some roof work, and build some platforms for his church. My sister paid me the most generous hourly wage I have ever received to tear out a bush and trim some hedges.
The second humiliating thing about being unemployed is that to get a job you have to lower your standards for work much more than desired to get something that pays the bills. Lowering my standards meant returning to my first and most skilled trade – food. Therefore, I decided to stop in gourmet market across from where we used to live. I thought, “I love coming here as a customer, maybe I can get a job here. And, bonus, I can walk to work.”
I walked in. Asked if they were hiring, and found out a position had become available that day. I filled out an application, and Chef and one of the managers interviewed me. A couple days later I was wearing my Santoni’s hat, white jacket, and black checkered chef pants. Ironically, I love the job, and realized that cooking is something I love to do. It is a canvas I like to work on, and I am wanting to learn more about.
Santoni’s Marketplace and Catering – If you are in the Baltimore area you can contribute to my employment by visiting, using them to cater a personal event, or recommending them to your employer for corporate catering events.
Filed under: 1
We purchased a Hot Wheels for Murray and today I assembled it.
I remember my Hot wheels vividly. It was black with orange accents. The wheels were plastic of course. In fact the integrity of the cheap plastic wheels became vulnerable because I rode it so much. There were deep gouges from my off-road adventures I took in our single driveway. As I became more adventurous the gouges became cracks, and it was not long that the entire wheel was going to split apart.
The most exciting memory I have with my Hot Wheels was when my brother and sister dared me to ride down the steep hill that ran parallel to our street. Dennis Avenue was not the steepest of the hills around our house, but it was steep enough to be dangerous for a child to drive his holey, beaten-up, Hot Wheels down. It was overall a good trip until I approached the intersection realizing there is know way of stopping my Hot Wheels except using my feet. Now realize it was not meant to be used at high speeds, because I read the instructions. Some how I walked away; actually ran away crying with only bloody knee.
So just before bed I was gazing upon Murray’s Hot Wheels as a proud father happy with his craftsmanship of following directions and matching the decal numbers with the right spot. Gina, my wife, walked in the room and asked what I was looking at? I smiled, and responded, “Nothing.” I don’t think she would have been prepared for my sentimental toy memories that were now turning into hopes and dreams for Murray’s adventures.
Filed under: 1
We moved out of our apartment we lived in for three years yesterday. Here is a quick list of what has happened in those three years (not in any particular order).
- Murray was born
- Graduated Seminary
- 4 different employers supplied funding to live there
- Got rejected countless times from potential employers
- 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wedding anniversary
- Purchased Mac I am typing on right now
- Totaled 1 pick up truck, bought one van, got rid of one van, bought a Honda.
- Met good friends Burgesses and Harbins
- Became better friends with Reinharts, Josh Butler, Kate Coyle, and Kirsten.
- Bobby and Andy Murray’s Wedding
- Ben and Bekah Murray’s Wedding
- Rumpert becoming a father with our landlords dog to two puppies
- Rumpert getting neutered.
- Gina’s Grandfather passing away…RIP Te’te
- Found new home to live in.
Now, we are a resident in between homes, hence we are literally nomadic residents
Filed under: religion
A struggling economy is not fun. But with any suffering comes the revelation of truth that show us our destructive patterns of living. The most obvious, coming from a monotheist who believes in Jesus, is our love of money. What sickens me, is how our love of money has influenced how we are the Church, the people of God who are meant to be the presence of God. The people who are to show the world that Jesus is enough and that man does not live on money alone but on Jesus.
If Jesus says the love of money is the foundation of evil and we cannot serve both money and God, then why have we made money the foundation of who we are, the means of what we do, and now, the sword that brings dissension and despair to many local churches? This recession reaches beyond the Church, but through recession God is saying to us,
“I myself will lift up your skirts over your face, and your shame will be seen. I have seen your abominations, your adulteries and neighings, your lewd whorings, on the hills in the field. Woe to you, O Jerusalem (Church)! How long will it be before you are clean?” (Jeremiah 13.26-27 ESV).
Jesus is the cornerstone, the foundation and the reason for us to unite as the body of Christ. The mission is the gospel, for the Kingdom of God to be planted and grown in our midst, and the means by which this happens is the Holy Spirit. But I had many conversations and heard the strategizing of many church plants, and the common factor for their growth and stability is money. Not only with church plants, but with existing churches and their meetings. We meet. We deliberate. We conclude. Then we pray and ask God to bless our decisions we have just made based on budgeting and this month’s tithe.
It may not happen exactly like this. I am exaggerating to explain enlighten the pattern that is so rooted in our thinking that has emerged from a culture of living beyond our needs. The only thing that is different is our language when we use phrases like “We need to be good stewards for what God has given us.” But our lifestyle and our corporate conduct is not very different. We have no regrets about using God’s portion and our brothers’ and sisters’ hard earned income for regular lunch meetings, bloated salaries and high payroll for minimal work, the continual use of and reliance upon expensive equipment, radiant signs, and beautiful bulletins all to appease our customers. We have become so dependent upon money for the functioning of our churches that we do not believe a church can exist without proper funding. Somehow we translated the business model “it takes money to make money” into “it takes money to make converts.”
Then we hear stories about the Chinese underground church that is being oppressed and the miracles the Holy Spirit is doing, and we are baffled as to why we are not seeing it here. We read through Acts about the early church and dream about that kind of experience for our churches, but are not willing to take the risks and fully depend on the Holy Spirit. Government, other religions, atheists, evolution, or public schools is not the oppressor of the American church, money is. And our faith in money is constraining the magnificence of God’s glory and his kingdom descending.
The sooner we can destroy the idol of money the sooner we can see the work of the Holy Spirit that we now only hear stories about. The sooner we embrace the shame of our skirts being lifted over our face, and confess our slutty behavior to God, the sooner he who began a good work in us will continue to work in us. The sooner we emerge together as the people of God for an exodus from our oppressor, the sooner he will deliver us to his kingdom where Jesus is all we need.
There is a remnant of churches that see this and are clinging to the ways of Jesus, and yet there are some that will fall prey to the very thing they rely on. Because of money men and woman are going to make decisions that will hurt their friends and bring dissension. Pastors are going to fire pastors and their friends, and those who are let go will feel as though they were cut off not based on them as a person, but as a number. Pastors are going to condemn and judge attenders by preaching about budget deficits and the lack of giving to people who are struggling to put food on their table due to unemployment. Rather than seeing a church that takes care of others’ needs, we will see the corporate personality of the church take care of its own needs before the needs of the people (who are the church). If money were not our foundation and our means, then destruction would not be knocking at the door of many local churches during times of famine.
Yet, while destruction may show its ugly face, it is only for the sake of resurrection. The confrontation of sin and the exposure of our scandalous hearts is to humiliate us. Allow this be a time where our relationship with Jesus is anything but personal and isolated. May this recession be a season of reconciliation where we find the idols that are pulling us away from the Holy Spirit. So that Jesus is the cornerstone we build his kingdom and our oppressor crumbles. Finally, so that we can celebrate Jesus’ resurrection in our life by embracing the death of our love and dependence for money.
Filed under: 1
Mom has been away with her friends, which means Murray and I were left to: watch spots center this morning, eat pizza, play with tonka trucks and slides, get ready for Mom’s Day, and get a few bumps and scrapes. I don’t know if Gina planned leaving the two days before mother’s day to show how much she does, but it made me appreciate her a lot more when I am all by myself taking care of Murray and everything else.
This is a tribute to Gina from Murray and dad.
Mom thanks for cleaning up my poopy. You do it all from diapers to underwear, baby wipes to toilet scrubbing.
Mom you are cool because you motivate us to do fun things like finger paint, read, play games, jump in rain puddles, and do not let us rot in front of the television.
Mom, even though it is a bit annoying with the camera and pictures at times, I love it. It is preparing me (murray) for my acting career. And I saw the gnarly scrapbook you are making, it tells a great story of our family
Mom, thanks for being a cool mom! Our house is going to be one of those houses my friends will come to because you are cool.
Mom you are pretty.
Today is Good Friday. Lent is coming to a climax and it will soon fade with the arrival of Easter. All the efforts of denying myself will culminate into a beautiful celebration of resurrection.
I don’t like it. After several years of practicing Lent, it is my first year I’m regretting this season ending. I will get lazy without the purposeful struggle of denying myself. I then question – what is the point of Lent if all I do is go through the motions of reading a Lent Reader, make small attempts of denying myself, and stop eating sweets just to enter back into my normal way of living on Easter Sunday? It is as though the 40 days were an anti-vacation just to make my normal life better. Or, like when western christians go on mission trips just to get a perspective of how “blessed” we are.
If that is all Lent amounts to, I have achieved being more selfish then when I began. If that is all Lent amounts to, I suffered only to make my world better. I suffered to stop eating sweets so that to eat something sweet in 40 days will be so much better. It is not suffering, but merely delayed gratification.
The narrow way of denying myself has the expected blossom at the end the further I enter into the mess. But it doesn’t happen because of something I did, blossoms spring because of a cosmic encounter. The more I am able to enter into the mess the more I am able to rely less on myself. In turn, the more Jesus is heroic. In turn, the more I am grateful.
The struggle of becoming a new creation is Lenting all the time. Becoming a new creation is the art of entering into our messy hearts to let Jesus in.
Filed under: 1
I am now learning to twitter. Becoming a parent and not having a job where I am behind the computer the majority of the day has wounded my technological abilities. And not being in Seminary. That was the time and network to sharpen my skills on frivolous things like this.
Filed under: art
Will anyone else admit to watching the movie High School Musical (the first one)?
Will anyone else admit to liking it?
My high school experience was nothing like that of Troy’s, but watching the movie definitely forced me to reminisce about my high school years.
Like most musicals, it was a social commentary exaggerated for our entertainment purposes. For the most part the musical was bubbly and happy. I admit was a bit giddy after watching it, which made it difficult to fall asleep.
I like how they emphasized the characteristic of people breaking the boundaries of their stereotype. The jock was a singer or baker. The skater was a classical musician. The geek loved hip-hop dancing.
On a more subtle level, I did not like how the movie encouraged over commitment. I call it failure to choose. Disney subtly communicated that we can have it all, that a busy, overworked lifestyle is good. Deep down I think we are all afraid to say yes because that means we are saying NO to something else.
I was caught off guard a couple of weeks ago. The older couple stood in front of the community on Sunday morning and began to tell their testimony in the form of a fairy tale for the sake of creativity, I guess. I was barely listening, and then they quoted the infamous passage that is a comfort to all. The one where God says, “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I frantically picked up my bible to look at the passage in its entirety hoping to find a reason not to hope.
Why would I not want to hope? I don’t know. But have you ever noticed that testimonies in church are typically happily-ever-after stories. The crappier it is before God delivers – the better the story. My only complaint is that they are a bit cliche. And is there ever an appropriate time for testimonies to be pre-redemption. Maybe it would allow room for people to provide hope to each other in other forms.
So I read all of Jeremiah 29 for the remainder of the couple’s testimony. It was a moment where everything in the room seemed to fade away and heaven began to descend. I was reading the words off the page, but it as if they were cutting out the rotten spots my heart had formed. It was a moment where all had come together and I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
The irony of the infamous passage in Jeremiah 29 is that God was challenging his people to be present in the midst of suffering. He was challenging his people who became exiles, living in a foreign land, to be a blessing to that land as if it were their own. In other words the hopeful words in Jeremiah 29.11 are NOT words to hope for something better later. They are words to make the present better.
The cheesy testimony was not so cheesy anymore. Gina, my wife, was caught off guard to point of crying. God graciously forced us to listen to what he wanted to say, when we probably would have used the testimony as comic relief.
About three mornings a week Lee comes to visit me as I open the coffee shop. Lee is from California and California is what describes him. Although I only spent a week in California I feel as though Lee’s jean, bear foot moccasin, hat, beard, and pony-tail wearing are typical features for a laid back Californian. He is just what the east coast needs. He is passionate about trying to figure out how everyone can have enough money, to stop worrying about dying and focus on living.
Our mornings are spent drinking lattes and coffee talking about his next journal entry on red bubble. Philosophy Lee is what he likes to call himself when he is communicating his agenda for positive thinking. Some read books, desk calendars, verse of the day, or for those of us who know nothing else- Daily Bread pamphlet you steal from the church pew. For me it is chit-chatting with Lee.
It has been a blessing talking with Lee because he is outside the Christian norm. It is one thing to brainstorm and dream about the implications of gospel in a seminary classroom or at church meeting. It is another thing to talk with a friend outside the bubble, and yet still think of how Jesus is the author of redemption. Most days we agree to disagree. And some days I disagree just to play devil’s advocate with his philosophy. It is fun.
The beauty of it is that we both are seeking to make this world better with each moment, with each conversation, with each day, and with each neighborly encounter. I would like to think that Jesus is present in the midst of our differences.
What makes Jesus LORD is not my ability to prove it to Lee. Jesus is LORD because his kingdom story emerges through our agendas.
